She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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