it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
