Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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