real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
