It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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