If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
