I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
