I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
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