i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
