just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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