Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
