In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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