very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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