real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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