Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
