What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
