dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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