when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
