i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
