Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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