nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
that is very illegal...i love you.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
