Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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