Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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