I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
