It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
