please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
