My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he shaved USA in his pubs
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
