just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
