BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Still dying that you shit outside
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
