plz talk dirty to me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
