This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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