i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
wow bdsm is so cute
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
