He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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