he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
