okay pat passed out under dana's car
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Still dying that you shit outside
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize