trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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