HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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