You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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