Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
