I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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