dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
