He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
