If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
