she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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