i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
