My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
there is glitter all over my balls
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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