haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
