I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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