Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
