Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I am midnight drunk by noon
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
