Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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