they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
