So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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