im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
